Become a Wife Guy Warrior

Resentment requires a resolution

Most of us are on social media to have fun. Some of us are there for work. A small handful are there because, as societal outcasts, they have no other place to be. When the happy-go-lucky guys and those who live with unresolved resentment intersect, rarely anything of value emerges. Perhaps you’ve been unlucky enough to witness this. The mean-spirited descend in an attempt to drown out the pure-hearted with enraged rants and empty threats. A recent example of this phenomenon was the response to a depiction celebrating banal-yet-endearing everyday interactions between a husband and wife and sometimes their children, commonly referred to as “wifejak” (it’s not important if you haven't seen it: the point is, it is affectionate and wholesome).

What is important is that a small handful of traumatized young men saw this endearing shared experience as a call to arms, not in a predictable way. Their call was for its destruction. A great deal of mental gymnastics is required in order to explain where hatred for this harmless celebration of the often amusing moments between couples stems from, as well as how such an unpopular and ineffective desire could possibly work out to be a net good for Western civilization. A few have written “think” pieces in order to rationalize it. In reality, it’s part of an undercurrent of resentment among young men who feel like they’re not sharing a dream that they were promised. Let’s examine their claims in turn, such as they are, as they represent poisonous beliefs in our culture that have become prevalent.

“Men with Families are Weak.”

A common belief among some online culture warriors is that men who are responsible for wives and children are risk avoidant. This half-truth is twisted to rationalize their belief. While I, as a husband and family man, may be less likely to purchase a motorcycle for riding on busy highways without a helmet, I am much more likely to take any risk to protect and provide a better future for my wife and children, and therefore, society as a whole.

Such is a common truth; we are not required to look very far in history to see it proved. When the Founding Fathers of the United States signed the Declaration of Independence, an act which immediately made them guilty of treason against Great Britain, promising execution once apprehended by the Crown, many of the signatories had wives and young children. It was the most significant risk they could have taken and it was a selfless one. They did not use their families’ safety as an excuse to avoid this act, as understandable as that would have been.

This crucial distinction from those arguing that family men are unlikely to undertake dangerous risks in order to improve society should be expected. After all, their negative understanding of responsible and capable fatherhood is founded on unhealthy personal histories and denied aspirations. A young man looking to destroy an image that celebrates marriage and family likely has no father figure to look up to, no hope for a future in which he can one day have the same, and finally, no conception of goodness. This truth should be the bedrock upon which we build our conception of his motivations, with both an understanding and commitment to changing them.

“Publicly Celebrating your Wife and Children is Feminine and Submissive.”

Perhaps one of the more shocking admissions from a group that claims to derive much of its blueprint for an ideal society from classic Greco-Roman thought is that public displays of affection for one’s family should be mocked, derided, and discouraged. Hypocrisy like this is easy to uphold when either one is not educated on our classical, and even more so our Christian family-structure. Wars were waged in the name of women, and men were willing to risk their lives for them and their families. Such motivation made them achieve honourable acts of heroism that are etched into our history.

There is little to examine here by way of motivation that isn’t perhaps obvious. It is, unfortunately, human to ridicule that which is great but out of reach. An immature defense mechanism that allows the individual to escape introspection because it would reveal grave faults. But that introspection would be necessary for growth and transformation. So I call on you: introspect, and act on those shortcomings. It will bring unexpected fruits.

A mark of the dissident is the questioning of every preconceived notion in order to ascertain its effectiveness, value, and truth. An intelligent dissident seeks to find the faults in our accepted notions in order to create a better future. We are witnessing, unfortunately, in this case, a dissident who is unwilling to achieve anything worth preserving.

“Online Resentment Creates an Effective Army.”

Inspired by a need for belonging, these young social outcasts are forced into the only corner in which their beliefs can be expressed. That is a fault of our own society. They are marked by a paranoia of federal infiltration among their ranks because the elites in our institutions have generated a lack of trust. These groups believe they are agents of change, or dangerous future insurgents capable of violence.

This is where their enablers—online commentators with tens of thousands (sometimes hundreds or millions)—come into play. More commonly known as “grifters”, the enablers play a crucial role in the creation and maintenance of what I call “the paper tiger internet army”. Beginning as a movement to make money from panic and hopelessness, they have wielded influence over our cultural by speaking to their grievances and pain. At the same time, they fail to offer effective resolutions, instead reinforcing a self-destructive cycle.

Essays, tweets, and podcasts comprise their ammunition, but as Oswald Spengler, the German mathematician and historian said, power is wielded with the sword.

“A Political Revolution Will Save Western Society.”

This is largely a correct statement, but politics is downstream from culture, as the media personality Andrew Breitbart once stated. Laws are not created in a vacuum. Every governing statutes has first been a commonly accepted cultural rule, before codification into law. In essence, the fantasy of revolution is popular among these individuals, but it dismisses the actual work required to bring about societal change that speak to the needs of our culture.

You would be correct to question whether or not their motivations include changing society for the good at all. Many of the voices in these groups appear to to desire vengeance without a positive vision to build.

When common will is at odds with a governing body, the people will overthrow and replace it. We have seen this rule proved true throughout all of recorded human history. Individuals who seek to effect change need the courage, tools, training, leadership, and financial means required to revolutionize a society, but their desires need to be in tune with the aspirations of the people, especially those of families. They need to offer a sense of hope rooted in virtue.

What to do with Paper Tigers?

There are, of course, individuals who cannot or do not wish to have families for different reasons. They may not be physically able to, our society may not offer them the options they deserve, or they may be great minds who dedicate their lives to their crafts and talents for the betterment of mankind. But family is not looked down on by these healthy individuals. They encourage it for others as a necessary means to build and create a society that is capable of moving forwards.

Paper is a delicate material, unable to withstand any environmental pressure it encounters. Even in a case where it is not subject to rapid heat or moisture, it will eventually erode. A group defined by their hatred for women, children, families, and fatherhood, will not last more than half a generation.

It is more important to focus on preventing others from joining their numbers, capturing susceptible targets before they can be recruited into the ranks of the online, edgy keyboard warriors. We achieve this by speaking to them with understanding, by offering them the possibility of creating a life they secretly desire, and ironically enough, through proliferation of the very cultural content they are infuriated by and by living out our values in the real world.

Normie MacDonald writes on Substack at 'A new normal' about faith, family, and relationships.

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