I was practically dying. Slowly, sure. Perhaps not fast enough.
They say that a healthy man has a thousand desires, while a sick man only has one. That was true for me a decade ago. In the span of a few weeks, I went from being a relatively healthy young man about to begin his life to having the will to live drained out of me.
It sounds melodramatic, but being unable to breathe fully for many months on end takes its toll on you. Allergies, they said, at first, then adult-onset asthma, and eventually something stranger. Cause? Unknown. Complications? Unresponsive to corticosteroids, I felt hypersensitive to environmental stressors, and my detox pathways clogged. Sleep eluded me; I was adding on considerable weight, and the potential future of constant suffering corrupted every moment of repose. Constant breathlessness.
In retrospect, it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
My soul descended into darkness. Only my affliction began in the body and slowly crept into my mind. This mysterious illness forced me to take stock of my life up to that point. I could only love my fate if it meant escaping it, not by the hand of some deus ex machina, but by my own.
I've talked to many people who've managed to overcome a major health issue when mainstream medicine was useless, and they agree with me when I say it changes you on a fundamental level. There's something liberating about taking charge of your life this way - it strengthens your agency while weakening the grip of consensus reality. When the experts have no answers, you start asking more questions.
There’s a connection between the USSR, Buteyko, and CO2.
Are you aware of the practice of taping your mouth during sleep? I initiated that trend, one could say, when I created my Twitter account back in 2020 and started talking about mouth-taping. It became popular in online subcultures.
The benefits of breathing through the nose are powerfully interconnected: it slows and controls the amount of air you breathe in, promoting oxygen exchange and creating vital energy.
But the practice is far older than me, and the credit goes to a man called Dr. Konstantin Buteyko. He discovered that his sick patients had higher-than-normal minute ventilation. He hypothesized that by stopping “over breathing," their symptoms would be reduced or even eliminated. He tested his theory on thousands of asthma and heart patients during his clinical trials in the 1960s at the Sechenov First Moscow State Medical University.
Eventually, his ideas became widespread. He developed a breathwork method that changes one's reflexive, unconscious breathing pattern, which influences almost every aspect of one's physiology.
The basic mechanism of action is gradually increasing the carbon dioxide levels you can tolerate, thus enhancing the Bohr effect - improving oxygen delivery from the blood to the tissues. This means optimal cellular respiration that generates more ATP (the source of energy).
The breath-work technique isn’t merely about breathing through your nose. When taken a step further it involves sustaining a degree of "air hunger" (the desire to breathe is a result of more CO2, not lack of oxygen) by inhaling 80%-90% of the volume of air you normally breathe in and elongating the natural pause after exhalation for 4-10 seconds, x3-4 times per day while staying relaxed, so that your medulla oblongata, the respiratory center in the brain, picks up changes in the blood pH (higher CO2 decreases pH) through your peripheral chemoreceptors and eventually resets your breathing pattern permanently.
That's a mouthful, I’m aware! It goes beyond that - an increase in carbon dioxide has therapeutic benefits that don't stop at respiration. What made a marked difference for me was regulating my nervous system.
Your nervous system is in the way of your potential.
Let's try something right now. Inhale, exhale, and hold your breath. Do it. After 15-20 seconds, you'll start feeling uncomfortable. The sensation of panic and suffocation will start rising. This is carbon dioxide that saturates every cell and tissue. It feels like anxiety. It is fear of death, totally embodied, wilfully instigated. Learning how to accept this sensation, overcome it, or even transform it into something closer to joy and excitement is, for all intents and purposes, an alchemical process.
You can change how your mind interacts with the body by teaching your nervous system how to remain calm and playful at the edge of danger.
If you take the time to notice, many of us are in a constant state of low-grade stress. Imagine someone coming behind you and tapping your shoulder. You'll flick back and jerk away. You'll also, in fact, take a sharp inhale and hold your breath. It is the same reaction you're having to mental stress and anything that comes your way—an unconscious, reactionary apprehension of reality.
Every emotion, every thought, is mapped on your body and communicated back to your mind through the breath. Your body hosts the unconscious part of your mind, so everything that you’re avoiding is stored as tension. Memories, trauma, and uncomfortable emotions. And when you allow them to sit, become stale, and fester, they consume energy.
The Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung believed that your libido, in the sense of your vital energy, is consumed trying to protect the self from what lies underneath the conscious mind. More so, he believed we needed to integrate our Shadow, to make it conscious, or it would direct our life unconsciously, establishing an emotional complex for every way our energy is stolen. Energy is liberated when you can deconstruct these hidden realities that lie deep in your psyche. It's where creativity, pathos, eros, and zest for life begin.
It involves looking inside your subconscious mind through your body and allowing that uncomfortable experience to take place while using the breath as a vehicle for self-transformation. It’s a simulation of fear that brings out the Shadow. It’s a form of somatic meditation, akin to having a conversation with your body where the core negative emotions like fear, abandonment, pain, doubt, etc., are stored, and dealing with their raw nature.
I won't bore you with more details. The important takeaway is that when done daily, techniques like this can profoundly impact your body. When I discovered the Buteyko method, tried taping my mouth, and committed many hours to practice different breathing exercises, I noticed that my symptoms were reduced and, eventually, eliminated. What caused me distress, the desire to breathe, became the sensation that liberated me from it.
To my surprise, anxiety, emotional turmoil, intrusive thoughts, and tension in the body have also become manageable. I could see their roots now: a strung-up nervous system that was reacting to a perpetual life-or-death scenario.
But I didn't stop there.
When something works beyond the limits of what everyone set for you, you can only become obsessed with it. And I did. My research led me deeper into esoteric practices that incorporated or used the breath to transform the body. What I found over and over again was a connection between the breath, vitality, and the soul.
Your breathing is a vehicle for self-transformation.
"They possessed no breath; they had no inspiration, no locks or voice or good colors; Óðinn gave breath (ǫnd/andi), Hœnir gave inspiration, Lóðurr gave locks and good colors." - From Vǫluspá 18, Norse mythology
You'll be pressed to find an ancient civilization, religion, or sect that hasn't made the connection between the breath and the soul. If we look at the etymology of the word "psyche", ψυχή in Greek, it comes from πνοή → pneuma; breath and spirit. The ineffable, universal, cosmic energy that saturates our body, the force behind our creative acts.
In ancient Greek mythology, the Goddess Athena breathes life into the lifeless humans made of clay that Prometheus shaped.
In Judaism, the Ruach - breath of God - in Kabbalah seeks to ascend the Tree of Life and merge with the emanations of the Ein Sof, the God prior to any form of manifestation.
In Gnostic cosmogony, Yaldabaoth with his Archons builds physical reality and creates our flesh - yet, we remain empty, lacking, without an animating force, the spark, the essence of life. It was the one true Creator, pitying our lesser state, that breathed through the Demiurge and instilled anima in us.
In the East, we encounter the word prana. Pranayama, the control and expansion of breath in yogic traditions, was used as a tool for enlightenment. When one stops breathing, a state called Kevala Kumbhaka, he delights in awakening. The breath goes inward, the divine spark inflames his guts, and the man is self-sustained; he's spiritually emancipated.
The Jiva-atman is a single divine breath contained in every living being, from humans all the way to the smallest bug.
Similarly, in Chinese culture, the breath of the Qi is the bridge between the Jing (essence) and Shen (consciousness). In Neidan, the internal alchemy of the Taoists, we see the breath is how the mind interacts with the body. When the mind changes, the breath changes, and, at last, the body changes.
I found many of the missing pieces. Our over-examined, disenchanted modern perspective places us in a purely mechanical universe free of mysteries. It's sterile and determined, with biology lacking any significance beyond sustaining bare life. Yet, as you can tell, the body is the alchemical crucible where prima materia - our raw, unrefined selves, melt and transform to approach the zenith of our potential.
Here are some practical tips for the initiates.
I was asked to write an essay explaining a few key principles of breathing and breathwork. So far, I've failed. I know I'll upset my host if I don't even appear to follow her instructions, so let's examine what you, the reader, can do to improve your life just a little bit without delving into esoteric woo-woo practices or devoting multiple hours per day to breathwork.
1) First and foremost, maintaining nose breathing throughout the night and day, even during physical exercise, will be the biggest factor in improving your breathing and energy levels. Do your best to be mindful of when your mouth breathes (especially when sitting). When exercising, use nose breathing as a "barometer" - if you have to use your mouth, reduce intensity and build your tolerance slowly over many weeks.
2) Taping your mouth. This peculiar method prevents you from breathing through your mouth during the night. It's not something you have to do forever, but it'll certainly help until you manage to do #1 unconsciously, 24/7. Find medical-grade silk tape, cut a small piece, and place it vertically or horizontally on your mouth. All your body needs is a gentle reminder to use the nose. It'll be hard to sleep for the first weeks, but you will start to feel the difference with time.
3) Sleep on your side. Another simple habit to incorporate. Sleeping on your back has been shown to cause more frequent bouts of apnea during the night and promote mouth breathing. Turn on your left or right, and you'll feel refreshed after a few nights.
4) Fix your posture. If you sit for many hours daily, ensure your knees are lower than your hips and your chest isn't collapsing. Take breaks often and move around. A light stretching routine will also help keep everything loose and open.
5) For breathwork, you can do the following for 20 minutes every morning:
HRV (heart rate variability) breathing or resonance frequency breathing has been shown to consistently reduce anxiety, stimulate the vagus nerve, and regulate the nervous system.
This is what it consists of. When we’re rested and calm, our heart rate fluctuates naturally in a balanced rhythm. HRV breathing helps to amplify these natural fluctuations, enhancing the balance between the sympathetic (fight or flight) and parasympathetic (rest) sides of the nervous system. By breathing at a specific rate, we are more resilient to stress and improve overall emotional regulation. Here are the instructions:
a) Sit in a comfortable position.
b) Let your breath settle for a couple of minutes.
c) Then, begin by inhaling for 5 seconds and exhaling for 6 seconds. See how you're feeling:
- Do you feel like you're exhaling too much air?
- Do you feel like you're over-inflating your lungs during the inhalation?
- Are you struggling to keep the pace and the flow of air smooth (e.g., you have to blow out too much near the end of the exhalation)?
d) Your breathing must feel normal, meaning that you shouldn't feel like you're exerting force to maintain that breathing pattern.
e) Try 6/6, 5/6, 5/7, 5/5, 4/5 seconds.
- Different patterns to explore until you find the one you're more comfortable with.
There's evidence that chanting and singing induce a similar resonance frequency. Something to think about.
While this isn't the Buteyko method, which requires much more practice, it's enough to get your feet wet before attempting anything more extreme.
Before I let you go, I'd like to offer one more practical tip, perhaps the most important one.
Dealing with a practice that involves near-constant invitation of wilful suffering during every session, I've realized that insight doesn't come from an experience but from your relationship to that experience.
The man who goes through life detached from his emotions could end up no wiser than a shut-in. In order to make long-term, permanent changes in one's psyche, one needs to avoid numbing oneself and deal with challenging situations without triggering a chronic nervous system response. By “hyping” yourself up or wallowing in self-pity, reactions that hijack your normal cognitive functions, you deprive your mind of growth. By arbitrarily feeding your system with adrenaline, physical side effects like burnout aside, you communicate that you’re in a dangerous place and that only a “different” man, not you, can cope. So, naturally, every time something outside of your comfort zone occurs, you become (slightly) detached.
Think of the last time you had to endure a difficult experience. You most likely rushed through it, not taking the time to experience the uncomfortable emotions fully. You only "managed" to overcome adversity—barely. There was no spiritual awakening, only the desert of enduring. In the end, you can scarcely remember the struggle; you're just glad you made it out alive.
Why don't you take a big breath, relax, and take your time to navigate life? Head on. I promise there are more benefits at the other end of the stick.
Being on the edge of danger is like being on the back of a tiger: you can either ride or die.
Hyde is a writer and researcher on Buteyko, breathwork, and internal alchemy. You can find his courses on Breatheless.